


Inappropriate Office Shenanigans

by agenthaywood, queermageddon



Series: The Office [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Everyone works at an office, F/F, F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, HuntingBird, Philinda - Freeform, Skye loves boobs, Skyeward - Freeform, and no one can deny it, everyone just accepts is, except Hunter, office!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:22:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7088830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agenthaywood/pseuds/agenthaywood, https://archiveofourown.org/users/queermageddon/pseuds/queermageddon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobbi's not perfect. She's had her fair share of body image issues like everyone else on this planet. Hunter made them go away though, and now Bobbi is proud of what life gave her. And apparently Skye didn't get enough coffee this morning. Go figure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inappropriate Office Shenanigans

Growing up, Bobbi was always the tallest kid in class. Yes, that’s right. Kid, not girl. At first, she felt like a freak. Some of the meaner kids used to tease her in elementary school. She was called a “giant” and a “freak.” More than once, she went home with tears in her eyes. Bobbi hated her height back then.

 

When she was in 7th grade, one boy - he was classified at the class bully - bumped into her in the cafeteria which caused her to drop her lunch tray. He laughed and called her an awkward gorilla. He said “if you weren’t such an awkward gorilla, stuff like this wouldn’t happen.” And then he laughed and pushed her down. That was the final straw. For the first time, Bobbi used her height to her advantage. She stood up slowly, her eyes never leaving the bully, and towered over him. She balled up her fists and without a second thought, punched the smirk of the douchebags face.

 

Bobbi was suspended for a week but from then on she was known as the badass chick who made the school bully cry. She was never teased about her height again, but that didn’t mean it still wasn’t a problem. Things simmered for awhile, but once she hit 9th grade, new problems arose. In 9th grade, she grew more and in addition, she filled out. The biggest change was her breasts. It was like they grew overnight and with their appearance came the perviness of high school boys.

 

For some reason, the boys in her school thought they could walk into her, smashing their face into her breasts, and get away with it. She tried to ignore it - she really did - but one day, she just snapped - she might have been on her period. So, when a freshmen walked into her and motorboated her, she shoved him into a locker. She got suspended (again) but it was worth it.

 

It was for this reason that Bobbi never thought she would be happy with her height - and her boob size. For the rest of high school and the beginning of college, Bobbi hated her height and her boob size. It wasn’t until Lance Hunter walked into her life - and her boobs - that she began to enjoy everything about herself.

 

Hunter’s face smashed into her chest and he became the definition of a bumbling idiot. He dropped everything he was holding, muttered out several curse words, and barely managed to get out an apology before he turned and darted away. He made it about 20 feet before he realized all of his stuff was still on the ground. Bobbi couldn’t stop laughing as he made his way back to her with red cheeks and a posture that resembled a dog with it’s tail between it’s legs.

 

He scrambled to the ground, quick to retrieve his stuff and get out of the woman’s way, but Bobbi surprised him. Most women would be scoffing and going on their merry way, but for some reason she stooped down and helped Hunter retrieve his things. That’s when Hunter did something Bobbi had rarely seen men do since she was 15 - he looked her in the eyes.

 

Now when people walk into Bobbi’s chest, she no longer has to lift a finger. Hunter tended to knock the lust-filled look off anyone who gave it to her.

 

“No one gets to enjoy these but me,” he told her once as he was icing his sore fist. 

 

Bobbie didn’t disagree. Her breasts were only for Hunter. And Skye apparently. The first few times Skye walked into her chest, Bobbi passed it off as an accident. She was a woman and she was always glued to her phone. It was no big deal. Little did she know, Skye walked into her chest on purpose.

 

“Mmm they’re so soft,” she mumbled once. She didn’t even bother to back away and mumble out her usual apology. She just left her head resting on Bobbi’s chest and Bobbi just stood there, completely unsure of what to do.

 

“Skye?” Bobbi whispered. She definitely did  _ not _ want to draw the attention of anyone else. Especially considering this day, of all days, was the day the board was there. Bobbi could just imagine them walking in the conference room to see one employee sleeping on another employee’s breasts. 

 

“Hm?”

 

“The hell are you doing?” she hissed.

 

“Napping. I haven’t had enough coffee today and these are soft. And I don’t even have to bend down, like with Jemma.” Bobbi wanted to ask about that last part, but decided now was not the time.

 

She opened her mouth to speak, but froze when the conference room door opened. For a moment she thought this was it. She was about to get fired. She let out a breath of relief when Hunter stepped in. His eyes were immediately wide.

 

“This isn’t what it looks like?” Bobbi said, although it sounded more like a question.

 

“And what is it?” Hunter asked. His voice was filled with confusion, but thankfully, not anger. He did sound slightly turned on.

 

“Ugh Hunter,” Skye muttered.

 

Hunter would like to make a remark, but he was a little impressed by what Skye’s head did for Bobbi’s cleavage. Not that Bobbi needed help with that, she tended to dress to the nines since about 2 months after they got together and so cleavage was always 10/10, but the thought remains. He wasn’t too crazy about Skye lightly snoring into his wife’s breasts though. That was his thing.

 

Bobbi for her part let the woman sleep while she and Hunter shared one of those married people silent conversations. Hunter walked over and took the young woman off of his wife. That was a bad move because Skye was essentially deadweight and literally fell onto Bobbi’s boobs and today was the day Bobbi broke out the big heels and now there are two women on the ground.

A quick glance at the door let Hunter know that they were still alone. He bent down and helped a now awake Skye and Bobbi up from the floor.

 

“Sorry. Ward kept me up last night.” Skye yawned and walked back to the coffee pot for a pick-me-up.

 

“Well go sleep on his chest. This one’s mine.” Hunter muttered. Bobbi chuckled. The biggest question she had surrounding her breasts was did she own them or did Hunter?

 

“He’s in a meeting, remember?” Skye downed her coffee, not caring that it was hot.

 

“Jemma’s free, so use her boobs as pillows.” Bobbi suggested as she wrapped her arms around Hunter, his head easily leaning against her breasts. His was about the only one she smiled at when it was down there.

 

Skye just shrugged and sipped her coffee. She has a mischievous smile on her face that had Bobbi looking down at Hunter and Hunter groaning. Little did they know that everything they had just said to Skye did nothing but fuel her on. After that, Skye took every opportunity to bump into Bobbi’s chest.

 

At first, Bobbi had no idea. It was pretty normal “Skye’s glued to her phone and not watching where she’s going” type stuff. The time when Skye’s looking straight ahead and still nails Bobbi in the chest though, that’s completely deliberate and no one can deny it.

 

“Skye’s a boob lover, but even this is a little silly. What did you say to her?” Ward asked Bobbi while they were preparing sandwiches for their significant others.

 

“We told her not to,” Bobbi answered. Ward laughed, causing Bobbi to raise an eyebrow.

 

“Then that explains it. She’s never going to stop now. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she demanded joint custody at some point.” Ward placed the top bread on his sandwich and walked off.

 

“But they’re my boobs!” Bobbi seethed.

 

“Excuse me?” Hunter called out from his desk.

 

Bobbi sighed. “Fine,  _ our  _ boobs.” She muttered under her breath as she carried their lunches over to him.

 

“And by “ours” you mean mine and yours.” Skye chimed in with a mouth full of food. Bobbi rolled her eyes. Hunter went to protest, but she placed her hand on his arm and shook her head ‘no.’ 

 

It was beginning to appear that this would not be a fight they were going to win.

 

“Oh, believe me, you won’t.” Jemma said as she walked past Bobbi. 

 

“Did I say that out loud?” She asked. One look at Skye told her that yes, she had said that out loud. Skye was wearing a shit eating grin and when Bobbi looked at her, Skye winked.

 

“The first time Skye stayed the night at my place, I woke up with her head resting on my chest. I figured it was an accident. It wasn’t. I tried to fight her on it, but damn, she’s a stubborn, boob loving little shit.”

 

“Can I put that on my resume?” Skye asked Ward. 

 

“So why doesn’t she just stick with you,” Hunter grumbled.

 

“Because Bobbi is taller.” Simmons shrugged and walked off.

 

“Damn height,” Bobbi huffed.

 

“Don’t damn your height. You know I love your legs as much your boobs.” Hunter told her firmly. It was the truth. Half the reason Bobbi’s dresses were as short and low cut as they were, were because Hunter loved every second of her in them.

 

That and about a year after college, Bobbi and Hunter’s 2nd year of dating, Bobbi starting to take pride in her body and that’s when her collection of heels hit the double digits rather than the lonely single pair she owned for weddings.

 

“Same!” Skye yelled, causing Coulson - who was walking toward his office - to stop and look. May appeared and grabbed his arm.

 

“Don’t ask...don’t even look. They might fill us in.” May shuttered.

 

“Do you enjoy May’s boobs?” Hunter asked, causing Skye to gag on her sandwich. 

 

“That’s disgusting, she’s my mother.” Skye shivered at the thought. After a moment of silence, Hunter began laughing loudly.

 

“Yeah right, good one.” Hunter wiped a tear out of the corner of his eye. Everyone stared at him for a moment.

 

“Hunter...you know Coulson and May really are Skye’s parents?” Bobbi asked slowly.

 

“You’re in on this too? Nice. Very well thought out Skye.” Hunter stood up and threw his trash away before grabbing a folder off of his desk. He walked out of the room, still laughing. Bobbi, Ward, and Skye remained in their seats, staring at where Hunter was.

 

“I feel like that is going to bite him in the ass,” Ward said before taking another bite of his food.

 

“Oh, it definitely will. Hunter is kind of an idiot and he’s going to do something stupid,” Skye said with a wave of her hand. She turned and began typing on her computer.

 

And it did. Moments later, while Hunter was in the copy room, May stepped in.  She opened the cabinet near one of the copy machines and pulled out a box of paper clips.

 

“So May, did Skye ever use your boobs as pillows?” Hunter asked bluntly.

 

Now May wasn’t as big as the younger woman, but they didn’t beat her by much. May held a pair of Ds that despite her being 52, were still perky and youthful looking. Currently, May had dressed herself in a simple office outfit - white button down, black slacks, and a short pair of heels.

 

“She did when she was a baby. Where do you think she got her,  _ assets  _ from?” May smirked.

 

“The same place as Jem, I bet. The puberty express.” Hunter replied. “And what do you mean as a baby? How long have you known Skye?”

 

“I’ve known her for 27 years. Technically 27 years and 9 months because she made her presence well known in the womb.” May leaned back against the counter in the room.

 

“You’re making it sound like she’s your daughter or something,” Hunter mused.

 

“She is my daughter. Mine and Coulson’s.” May replied.

 

“No, seriously. You’ve known her long enough, where did the boob love come from?” Hunter laughed.

 

May sighed, not even wanting to get into details about how Skye was painfully obviously her daughter. “Well, Skye’s always liked an ample chest. They’re like fleshy pillows for her.”

 

“So she’s had a boob-thing pretty much since you’ve known her?” Hunter clarified.

 

“Yep.” May walked towards the door.

 

“How do I get her to stop sleeping on my wife’s tits?” Hunter asked blatantly.

 

“Have Bobbi get a reduction.” May smirked.

 

The jaw drop gave her all the satisfaction she needed from the conversation as May returned to her and Phil’s office and closed the door behind her. Hunter walked back over to his desk, jaw still dropped, and looked at Bobbi.

 

“What did she say?” Bobbi tentatively asked.

 

“She said the R word,” Hunter muttered under his breath. It was Bobbi’s turn to drop her jaw.

 

“Never going to happen. Get that out of your head right now!” Skye piped up from her corner.

 

“For once, I agree with Skye.” Bobbi said firmly. Hunter groaned and plopped down. 

 

“Well, one thing is for sure. You definitely are persuasive. Even May is claiming she’s your mom.” Hunter began working on his computer.

 

“This might be fun,” Skye whispered to Ward.

 

“How so?” 

 

“Well if Hunter is going to stand firm on not believing that May is my mom, then it is our duty to see how many weird and inappropriate things we can have him ask her.” Skye proposed.

 

“I like it.” Ward replied, curling a hand through Skye’s hair.

 

“I thought you would,” Skye kissed him briefly before standing up.

 

“Where are you going?” Ward asked as Skye popped a button on her top and turned off her monitor.

 

“Well, I’m waiting on emails and you’re stuck until Coulson approves your report, so we’re going down to the bathroom, and having a little fun.” Skye pulled him up by his tie.

  
“Hopefully Jemma’s not having her way with Fitz this time,” Ward took her hand and the couple walked down the hall.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow us on Tumblr! Same Usernames.


End file.
